Camelot Chatrooms
by eatingchocolate25
Summary: Set in Series 4 (after S4E6 but before S4E9). Imagine the characters of Merlin had access to a Chatroom (blame Merlin and Gaius), including the dead. Hilarity ensures (well Gwaine is there) and some secrets are revealed ("Stupid dragon!" said Merlin). Chat 26: Demigods: Arthur and Merlin discuss their godly parentage with insults along the way...
1. Usernames!

**Hello. So this is Camelot Chatrooms which is a project that has been long in the making. The idea is that the characters of our favourite TV show all have access to a Chatroom called Camelot Chatrooms. This is set in Series 4 (after a Servant of Two Masters (S4E6) and before Lancelot Du Lac (S4E9)) which means some characters are communicating across the veil (they're dead). So here's the usernames that they will use when communicating. Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: We don't own Merlin but we do own the usernames and the plot. If only we did though (Gwaine mmm).**

**Camelot Chatrooms- Usernames**

**Merlin- **imanawesomewarlock

**Arthur- **epickingofawesomeness

**Gwen-** gwenheartarthur

**Morgana-** queenofcamelot25

**Gaius- **physicians_r_us

**Agravaine- **best_uncle_EVAH

**Uther (deceased)- **King_Uther

**Morgause (deceased)- **eyeliner_lover

**Nimueh (deceased)- **epic_high_priestess

**Mordred- **druidindahouse7

**Freya (semi-deceased)- **Lady_of_the_Lake

**Gwaine- **Gwaine_the_awesome

**Percival- **thegreatbear75

**Elyan- **fearmysword

**Leon- **i-cant-die

**Lancelot (deceased)- **lancelotdulac

**Gilli- **i_hate_uther

**Kilgharrah- **the_great_dragon

**Cenred (deceased)- **morgause_is_amazing

**Hunith**- MerlinsMum

**So, these are the usernames we will be using. I did come up with some of them but it was mostly my dear beta. I think my favourite is definitely Agravaine's (best_uncle_EVAH). Oh the irony. Well, do tell us your favourites as we would like to know. So please review (including your favourite username), favourite and follow. It makes our days a lot better. P.S. We uploaded this part and the first chat (Merlin's Girlfriend!) at the same time.**

**If you have a plot idea that you want to see done then just PM me. We really want to hear what you want done.**

_**Beta (Clarkygirl)-I agree. best_uncle_EVAH is the best then followed by epickingofawesomeness!**_


	2. Chat 1: Merlin's Girlfriend!

**Hello people. Welcome to the first chat called Merlin's Girlfriend. Just to warn you, the chats are in chronological order and are linked together to some extent. It is best read the way it is written. This was something we wrote together, with me writing for Freya and half of Arthur and Clarkygirl writing for Merlin and the other half of Arthur. It certainly beats form with baldylocks. So we have some Freylin here (I do ship them, Freya's a really good match for Merlin) and our favourite Prince/King finding something out about his best friend. So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-Meh, chocy wrote most of this. Go to my gallery on devainArt to find the animated version. Or EatingChocolate's youtube (hkw4eva)**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Merlin's Girlfriend!**

**Lady_of_the_Lake has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Merlin? You there?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Freya?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Hi! I've finally decided to get an account!

**imanawesomewarlock: **I've missed you! Where have you been? Seriously? I sent you tons of e-mails…did you forget about me…TT^TT

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **In a lake. Some minnows got at the wires, the internet's been down for weeks. How are you? How's destiny treating you?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Damned fish! Destiny sucks! Arthur's stupid uncle is trying to kill him… again. God damned relations! You?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Aw! Poor you! Why don't you come down the lake? You will absolutely love my nymphs.

**imanawesomewarlock: **I could do with a friendly face. When?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Anytime you want. Now is good.

**imanawesomewarlock:** OK. It's a date!

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

**epickingofawesomeness: **MERLIN!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Oh bugger…

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Who's this clotpole?

**Epickkingofawesomness: **CLOTPOLE? I'LL GIVE YOU CLOTPOLE!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Um… I have to go.

**imanawesomewarlock has left the conversation**

**Lady_of_the_Lake:** Merlin?

**epickingofawesomeness: **No, he's polishing my armour. Who are you and how do you know Merlin?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **I'm Freya. Merlin's girlfriend!

**epickingofawesomeness: **WHAT?...

**Haha, so he knows about Freya. We all know that Arthur is convinced Merlin can't ever get a girl but Freya has just proven him wrong (smirks). Well, the next chat will be uploaded next Friday (one every Friday) so until then please review/follow/favourite. Virtual cookies to everyone who does so.**

_**Clarkygirl- I have nothing to say**_


	3. Chat 2: Flirt Gwaine!

**Hello! So here's Chat no2- Flirt!Gwaine! If you haven't noticed yet, all the names of each chat will have an exclamation mark because those who use IM love exclamation marks. So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-HELLO AGAIN!**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Flirt!Gwaine!**

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**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Morgana! We should go out sometime!

**queenofcamelot25: **W-What?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Well, you're pretty and I'm very handsome. We would make very pretty babies…

**queenofcamelot25:** We would?

Wait, forget I said that.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Yes we would! 8D

**queenofcamelot25: **Shut up! I'm trying to kill you!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **So what? We'll still make an epic couple!

**Queenofcamelot25: **you're drunk aren't you?

**Gwaine_the_awesme: **Shazzamitywham! Will you marry me?

**queenofcamelot25: **Go and die Gwaine! BEFORE I BURN ALL OF YOUR HAIR OFF!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **NOT THE HAIR! NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! ANYTHING BUT THE HAIR! :'(

**So yes, Gwaine is drunk and is flirting with Camelot's biggest enemy (ignoring the pathetic Agravaine and Kilgharrah's riddles). Because we all know he would do that (I still love him though). Just to let you know because me and Clarkygirl both have mock GCSEs (urgh) at school, we're going on hiatus from today until next Friday. Don't expect an update next Tuesday for Two Sides however there should be an update for Dragon's Heart today I think. There will be a CamChat update next Friday though. So please review/favourite/follow because it means that all the rain over here in the UK will be banished.**

_**Clarkygirl-Any Kid Icarus fans will notice the Pyrrhon quote in there. Anyone else thinking Gwaine and Pyrrhon are quite alike? **_


	4. Chat 3: Merlin's Secret!

**Hello. Exams are officially over and to celebrate I shall post this up. Yes, we are both officially off hiatus. So this is chat no3. And the official end to the hiatus. And it was written to appease my feelings towards Merlin's secret and Gwaine. So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-AND SO WE RETURN! **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Merlin's Secret!**

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**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**Imanawesomewarlock: **I have to something to tell you.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Ok…

**Imanawesmoewarlock: **It's a very, very big secret.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Yes?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Gwaine, I have magic!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Seriously?That's fantastic. I wonder what you can do with your magic *smirks*!

**imanawesomewarlock: **So you aren't, you know, scared or something?

**Gwaine: **Of course not, this is AWESOME!

**Imanawesomewarlock: **Well, ok then, I'm Emrys and I'm the last Dragonlord!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **THE EMRYS! Imagine every Driud's face when I tell them my best friend is Emrys! All the fun we can do! You have to help me get Percy back. He's winning in the prank wars! And then, I have to ride a dragon!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Um… OK. I don't know if Kilgharrah would let you ride him as he's 'not a horse'!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **This is going to be awesome!

**imanawesomewarlock:** You will keep it a secret, right?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Course I will…

**OK maybe now I understand why he didn't tell Gwaine. Especially about Kilgharrah. Oh dear. At least revenge is sweet. If you are waiting for an update for Two Sides then I will update on Tuesday. Don't murder me (hides behind sofa). So keep reviewing/favouriting/following as it makes the rain go away.**

_**Clarkygirl-Run for the hills Kilgharrah!**_


	5. Chat 4: Annoying Kilgharrah!

**Hello. Sorry I didn't update last night, I fell asleep before I could. So this is chat no4. We have Kilgharrah. It's also appeasing my inner Merthur fangirl (because they are canon (sort of) and they are cute together). So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-Oh Kilgharrah! 3 **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Annoying Kilgharrah!**

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**the_great_dragon: **Young Warlock!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Kilgharrah! Is everything OK? I'm surprised you know how to IM!

**the_great_dragon: **I am the Great Dragon! I have seen the rise and fall of civilisations! You underestimate me Young Warlock!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Um… OK! Is everything OK then?

**the_great_dragon: **You must remember! You and the young Pendragon are two sides of the same coin.

**imanawesomewarlock: **I know. I have to um… go and pick herbs!

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**the_great_dragon: **Young Pendragon!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Hang on, I could've sworn I killed you.

**the_great_dragon: **Not likely. The Young Warlock freed me and allowed me to live. You and the Young Warlock are two sides of the same coin.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Right…I think. I should go and do some… you know…kingly things…

**the_great_dragon: **OK, and do repel the ban on magic and make my Young Warlock Court Sorcerer while you're at it.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Uh… OK. Bye!

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**gwenheartarthur: **Arthur? You here?

**the_great_dragon: **The Young King has left, Young Queen.

**gwenheartarthur:** Young Queen?

**the_great_dragon: **Yes. For, according to the prophecies, that is who you are… unfortunately.

**gwenheartarthur: **Unfortunately?

**the_great_dragon: **YOU RUINED MY COIN! ARTHUR BELONGS TO MERLIN, NOT YOU! GRRRRRRRRR!

**gwenheartarthur: **Merlin? Of all people? An anyways Arthur's mine!

**the_great_dragon: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! At least Merlin can save Arthur's life. You'll only put his in more danger whilst breaking his heart with Lancelot!

**gwenheartarthur: **Lancelot? But he died…(sigh).

**the_great_dragon: **Oh yeah? Knowing you, you'll find a way.

**gwenheartarthur: **That's out of order! Goodbye!

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**the_great_dragon: **RAAAAAAAAAWR!

**druidindahouse7: **Hi dragon! :-)

**the_great_dragon: **I will devour you!

**druidindahouse7: **Why?

**the_great_dragon: **Because you will kill Arthur! I WILL REMOVE YOU BEFORE YOU GET THE CHANCE!

**druidindahouse7: **Through a chatroom?

**the_great_dragon: **Blast! Didn't think of that! If I ever see you in real life I WILL DEVOUR YOU!

**druidindahouse7: **Yes Dragon! ^-^

**the_great_dragon: **Stop calling me Dragon.

**This is one of the longest I've done. But it does get longer sometimes. So we all know Kilgharrah is definitely a Merthur shipper what with his many innuendos. I've always wondered if he hates Gwen. Well, now we know for sure. So please review/favourite/follow it means the world.**

_**Clarkygirl- Oh my… **_


	6. Chat 5: Lovestruck Cenred!

**So this is Chat no5. It's a bit of one-sided Morgause/Cenred. Because we all know this is what's happening…**

_**Clarkygirl-No more tests so we're back until the next lot come along. TT^TT we just can't win sometimes…**_

**Camelot Chatrooms_ Lovestruck!Cenred!**

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**eyeliner_lover: **Go away Cenred. And get a new username while you're at it.

**morgause_is_amazing: **But I love you Gause!

**eyeliner_lover: **DON'T CALL ME THAT IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR INNARDS!

**morgause_is_amazing: **Fine. Did you get the flowers? Did you like them?

**eyeliner_lover: **They were revolting. I threw them away.

**morgause_is_amazing: **You hold my heart Morgause. I love you and will do so until the day we die and descend into Hell. Will you marry me?

**eyeliner_lover: **We're dead. More importantly, I killed you. Take a hint and bugger off and find someone else to annoy!

**morgause_is_amazing: **Love has no boundaries, I will love you for all eternity and longer, darling!

**eyeliner_lover: **But I don't love you. You're a detestable little insignificant insect obsessed with leather.

**morgause_is_amazing: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My life is worthless! TT^TT

**Ha, worst proposal ever. Poor Cenred-not. He totally deserves it what with him refusing to help Ealdor in Series 1 with the Kanen problem. So please review/follow/favourite. It makes us all happy.**

_**Clarkygirl-Yep, keep reviewing! And Dragon's Heart will be posted sometime this century…hopefully…**_


	7. Chat 6: Gaius and the Sleeping Draft!

**Hello. Welcome to chat no6. This is certainly my favourite ever (no matter what because I'm stubborn like that). This came to me when I was reminiscing over Series 2 when Gaius used to constantly drug Morgana with this stuff. Is it just me or is this his answer to everything? So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-I need one, because I'm so tired.**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Gaius and the Sleeping Draft!**

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**thegreatbear75: **Gaius. I've been cut on my arm by a falling axe!

**physicians_r_us: **I'll get Merlin to deliver a sleeping draft to you.

**thegreatbear75: **Thanks.

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**i_cant_die: **Gaius. I'm still alive! I was dealt with a mortal blow but I'm still alive…help

**physicians_r_us: **Again? Really? Well, then again it IS natural for you. I'll have Merlin deliver you a sleeping draft.

**i_cant_die: **Thank you Gaius.

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**fearmysword: **Gaius I burnt myself making a sword.

**physicians_r_us: **Don't worry. I'll get Merlin to deliver you a sleeping draft.

**fearmysword: **Thanks! I owe you one.

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**imanawesomewarlock: **Hi Gaius!

**physicians_r_us: **Merlin! What have I told you about keeping the magic a secret?

**imanawesomewarlock: **To keep it a secret?

**physicians_r_us: **Change your username!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Well, it's not like anyone knows what a warlock is, what with Uther's indoctrination and all. But, I was battling an evil sorcerer again and I'm injured. I got singed again, stupid sorcerers and their stupid fireballs.

**physicians_r_us: **Hm, I'll get Merlin to deliver you a sleeping draft.

**imanawesomewarlock: **I AM MERLIN! You're going senile…

**So Gaius was copying and pasting his answer all this time, carelessly. Because we all know he does that in real life. And what is it with evil sorcerers and fireballs? Ignoring The Evil Mors (****Mor****gana, ****Mor****gause and ****Mor****dred). That must be a curse. Just to let you know, even though we have written so much already, we're running out of ideas. So if you have something that you want to see us do, PM me or Clarkygirl. So please feel free to review/favourite/follow. It makes my day complete.**

_**Clarkygirl- So…sleepy…zzz **_

_**Gaius: I haven't given her the draft yet…**_


	8. Chat 7: The Once and Futures!

**Hello and welcome to chat no7. Yes there is some Arwen (which is something I'm not keen on tbh) in this and to understand some of what Arthur is talking about, you will need to have read chat no1 (Merlin's Girlfriend). Told you they were tied together. So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-Not my doing this one, Chocolate deals with all the romance.**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- The Once and Futures!**

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**epickingofawesomeness: **Hi Guinevere.

**gwenheartarthur: **Hi Arthur.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Would you like to…you know…go on a picnic with me this afternoon?

**queenofcamelot25: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GWEN CANNOT BE QUEEN!

**gwenheartarthur: **I would love to Arthur. We haven't spent much time together lately, have we?

**epickingofawesomeness: **No we haven't.

**gwenheartarthur: **Is Merlin coming with us?

**epickingofawesomeness: **Nope, just the two of us.

**queenofcamelot25: **STOP IGNORING ME!

**gwenheartarthur: **Oh, that's good. Where are we going?

**epickingofawesomeness: **A nice lake I found the other day. Merlin's girlfriend lives there.

**gwenheartarthur: **Merlin has a girlfriend?

**epickingofawesomeness: **Yes, she's nice. Her name is Freya.

**gwenheartarthur: **I'd like to meet her one day.

**epickingofawesomeness: **It's be possible that we might see her today.

**gwenheartarthur: **That's nice.

**queenofcamelot25: **THIS FREYA WILL DIE! MERLIN WILL RUE THE DAY HE BETRAYED ME!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Jealous much! Anyway Morgana, you can't. Freya's immortal!

**queenofcamelot25: **NOOOOOOOOOO! I WILL BECOME QUEEN INSTEAD OF GWEN!

**gwenheartarthur: **Me?

**queenofcamelot25: **YES YOU! YOU BETRAYED ME! FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY IDIOT HALF BROTHER!

**gwenheartarthur: **I betrayed you? You stopped brushing your hair. I trusted you and you betrayed me.

**queenofcamelot25: **WELL MAYBE I LIKE IT THAT WAY!

**gwenheartarthur**: Traitor

**epickingofawesomeness: **You're arguing about hair?

**gwenheartarthur: **yes

**queenofcamelot25: **YES!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Go away Morgana.

**queenofcamelot25: **I AM THE RIGHTFUL QUEEN OF CAMELOT! YOU GO AWAY AND DROWN IN THE LAKE OF AVALON!

**epickingofawesomeness: **That's the lake Freya is the guardian of.

**queenofcamelot25: ** DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

**epickingofawesomeness: **I AM THE KING OF CAMELOT! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!

**gwenheartarthur: **Why do I have to put up with you two?

**I'm not sure about the ending. It took me ages to first write it because I didn't know how to end it. So please review/favourite/follow as it makes me want to bake lots of virtual cookies.**

_**Clarkygirl-I don't know Gwen, I don't know… But have fun! –sits with Merlin and offers him some tea- Ah well, we were abandoned. ^-^ Anways, keep reviewing guys, we do read them. Adios! Ps I'll have those cookies chocolates –she and Gwaine steal her cookies-**_


	9. Chat 8: Gwapple!

**Hello. Here's chat no8. This is based on my OTP Gwapple. Because we all know he would certainly do this! So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-Believe when I say that this is the only the start of an entire chain of insanity.**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Gwapple!**

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**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Everyone, I have an announcement!

**i_cant_die: **Oh no…

**fearmysword: **Why, Gwaine, why?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **I'm in love!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Is it my sister again?

**fearmysword: **Or mine?

**epickingofawesomeness: **Definitely not Guinevere!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **No, it's not Gwen. It's someone much better! No offense Gwen.

**gwenheartarthur: **None taken. :D

**imanawesomewarlock: **Who is it then?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **An apple! Called Greena!

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**i_cant_die: **Oh no! Kill me now!

**fearmysword: **Please tell me you're kidding me!

**lancelotdulac: **Why did I die? If I was here then none of this would happen!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Honestly nephew. Why are your knights this idiotic?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Is he drunk?

**epickingofawesomeness: **_Mer_lin! What type of a stupid question is that?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Prat! :P!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Idiot!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **We're getting married!

**epickingofawesomeness: **No! Absolutely not! I forbid this!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **You're all invited of course. Princess, you shall be Priestess and Merlin you are my best man!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Thanks Gwaine. I'm going to start writing my speech!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Absolutely NOT! It will never happen! And STOP CALLING ME PRINCESS!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Gwen is the maid of honour and Morgana and Leon are my other bridesmaids. Oh and the Great Dragon can be my transport

**i_cant_die: **I AM NOT A WOMAN!

**gwenheartarthur: **I admit Leon, you look quite nice in a dress. And yes Gwaine, I would love to be your maid of honour.

**i_cant_die: **I thought we would never mention that ever again. And why are you encouraging him?

**gwenheartarthur: **Because it's sweet.

**the_great_dragon: **I AM NOT A HORSE STRENGTH! AND NEITHER AM I YOUR PERSONNALY CHAEFFOUR!

**imanawesomewarlock: **I beg to differ, Kilgharrah. And I can command you to accept if I must!

**queenofcamelot25: **I WILL NEVER BE YOUR BRIDESMAID! I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS APPLE THEN EVERYONE ELSE AND TAKE THE THRONE AND EMRYS CAN'T STOP ME!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **She's jealous. She loves me really.

**epickingofawesomeness: **That's my evil half-sister you are talking about.

**fearmysword: **Percival? Are you there?

**thegreatbear75: **ikjikjiuhjb

**fearmysword: **Perce?

I'll go check on him.

He's stuck. His head's glued to the keyboard.

**epickingofawesomeness: **I blame Gwaine!

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **…

**imanawesomewarlock: **He's not denying it.

**You'll be finding out about what happens to Gwapple next week (very subtly). Also, we just posted up a companion fic to this called The Curse of the Pendragon Caps Locks. It's very mad :D! So until then, please review/favourite/follow. Bye.**

_**Clarkygirl—rushes over to Percival and tries to pry his forehead off the keyboard- You're so cruel Chocolate! –pats the poor knight's head and gives him a pot of honey- I swear, when I find Gwaine! On a completely different note, keep reviewing guys. And you can find the actually chatroom version of this on YouTube (see hkw4eva's account). I've done the first seven chapters, so if Chocolate had posted them they're up there **_**(Chocy- I have :D)**_**. **_


	10. Chat 9: Everyone Heart Gwen!

**Sorry we're late. Don't kill me but to be fair we have had a tonne of things to do. We are both writing original stories with close deadlines and our group won the YPI competition heat in our form. Finals on Friday. Let's hope we can win for Alzheimer's Society.**

_**ClarkyGirl: My fault this is late. Hehe… This masterpiece though, was not my doing. Chocolate did this. The truth behind it though is so terribly true. **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Everyone Heart Gwen!**

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**epickingofawesomeness: **I love Guinevere!

**lancelotdulac: **I love Guinevere too!

**epickingofawesomeness: **I know…

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **What happened to the apple you were going to marry?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Ate it!

**queenofcamelot25: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **You too? I thought you hated Gwen because she's supposed to be my Queen!

**queenofcamelot25: **She was my maidservant. I have every right to love her.

**i_cant_die: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Leon? I'm surprised!

**i_cant_die: **We grew up together. I know her much better than you do!

**thegreatbear75: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Percival? You can type?

**thegreatbear75: **Of course I can. Gaius taught me to.

**physicians_r_us: **I love Gwen!

**imanawesomewarlock: **You should be ashamed of yourself! You're old enough to he her grandfather!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Thanks a lot Gaius!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **UNCLE?

**queenofcamelot25: **I thought you loved me!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **I do love you but I also love Gwen!

**King_Uther: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **You tried to kill her… twice!

**King_Uther: **Details. I only did what was best for you.

**morgause_is_amazing: **I love Gwen!

**epickingofawesomeness: **What?... Who are you again

**morgause_is_amazing: **I'm Cenred, late king of Essetir! It is true that I only met Gwen twice when we kidnapped her but she was truly beautiful, a bit like my dear Morgause!

**the_great_dragon: **I love Gwen!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Kilgharrah I thought you hated her! The amount of times you've told me to kill her!

**the_great_dragon: **She's ruining my coin. I want my Merthur grandchildren. But I have to say that she is a very lovable character.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Merthur? I'm not going to ask. Anyway, I do love Gwen but in a sibling-like way. I love Freya though!

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **I love you too Merlin!

**fearmysword: **Guys, this is my sister you are talking about!

**gwenheartarthur: **I love you too Lancelot. Oh, and you too Arthur. I do love you all though.

**druidindahouse: **Whoops, ma spll haz gone rong.

**imanawesomewarlock: **What?

**druidindahouse: **Nuffin…

**Ha. Mordred enchanting everyone. So true. Please review/favourite/follow. Bye guys.**

_**ClarkyGirl: Oh Mordred! –facepalm- Nice going Chocolate! Hopefully the spell will wear off with time. **_


	11. Chat 10: Loneliness!

**Hey guys. If you have just switched to this update, then I will tell you now that I posted 2 chapters up at the same time so go and read The Enemy straight after you finish this! Anyway, we are now on track, yay! I will go to sleep soon though. Enjoy.**

_**Clarkygirl- -rises from the dead- Sorry guys, we couldn't update last week because of a certain charity competition that literally KILLED US! So yeah, two updates this week to compensate. Please forgive us! TT^TT And ja…enjoy reading this! **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- …Loneliness…!**

**druidindahouse has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamelot25 has joined the conversation**

**druidindahouse: **Morgana?

Morgana?

Morgana?

MORGANA?

Morgana? Morgana? Morgana?

Morgana? Morgana? Morgana? Morgana? Morgana? Morgana? Morgana?

MORGANA!

**queenofcamelot25 has left the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**druidindahouse: **Emrys?

Emrys?

Emrys?

EMRYS?

Emrys? Emrys? Emrys?

Emrys? Emrys? Emrys? Emrys? Emrys? Emrys? Emrys? EMRYS?

**imanawesomewarlock has left the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur has joined the conversation**

**druidindahouse: **Gwen?

**gwenheartarthur: **Hello Mordred. Would you like a cookie?

**druidindahouse: **I would love one Gwen, thanks!

**gwenheartarthur has left the conversation**

**the_great_dragon has joined the conversation**

**druidindahouse: **Kilgharrah?

Kilgharrah?

Kilgharrah?

KILGHARRAH?

Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah?

Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah? Kilgharrah?

KILGHARRAH?

**the_great_dragon: **I've had enough of this.

**druidindahouse: **Kilgharrah?

…

hbgfut7ij65hbes

**the_great_dragon: **Sorted !

**the_great_dragon has left the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur has joined the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur: **Mordred?

**Ah Mordred. Annoying and a subconscious user of 'txtspk'. I can relate to that. I might do it accidentally, just ask Clarky.**

**So please Review/Favourite/Follow. It might give me enough energy to survive Maths Tuition tomorrow. (Seriously, why do I need it? Mr C is brill, just ask Clarky. What's the point when my tutor is really annoying and I don't like her at all!)**

_**CLarkygirl- I feel like Mordred sometimes…don't we all…namely when parents are involved. Kilgharrah! You should know that violence is never the answer! Except when cakes are involved! Naughty corner! NOW! –he slumps off like a scolded puppy-DO review and follow and what not! See you all next week.**_


	12. Chat 11: The Enemy!

**Hello Guys. This is the second update today so go read the last one. So we have a double update. Aren't you glad, my lovely friends. Finally a bit of Agravaine and Morgana time. Be warned, innuendo's galore (when I say that, I mean really bad innuendos that aren't really innuendos but more terrible seduction sentences). Enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl- Oh chocolate…really?...where they really necessary. Can anyone imagine Aggy (Agravaine's new nickname) as a puppy? Albeit a slightly perveted and immoral one. BEWARE contains awkwardness and hormones! **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- The Enemy!**

**queenofcamelot25 has joined the conversation**

**best_uncle_EVAH has joined the conversation**

**best_uncle_EVAH: **My lady. Do you have an evil plan that you want me to complete?

**queenofcamelot25: **There is an immortal, undefeated knight that needs resurrecting.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Well, I hope you can be able to resurrect him so I can help him please you.

**queenofcamelot25: **You do that.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Yes, yes I will. So who exactly are you going to resurrect?

**queenofcamelot25: **He is one of the greatest knights ever to have lived. I have heard that he can rival even Arthur.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Oh, of course you would know all about Arthur's _skills_.

**queenofcamelot25: **Shut up fool!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **With pleasure, my lady.

**queenofcamelot25: **-_-

**best_uncle_EVAH: **So which knight are you resurrecting?

**queenofcamelot25: **One Lancelot Du Lac.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Him? You choose him, of all people, over ME!

**queenofcamelot25: **If you fought Arthur then you wouldn't last 2 seconds and that's being generous.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **I taught the boy all he knows!

**queenofcamelot25: **Leon taught him, Agravaine. Nice try!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **You're too cruel! It turns me on, my lady!

**queenofcamelot25: **…

…

…

_Swilté_ Agravaine.

**i_cant_die has joined the conversation**

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Oh, my lady. You enchanted me, both with your personality and your magic. Because of you, no one can kill me, except maybe Emrys, as you love me really and can never live without me.

**queenofcamelot25: **What? What possessed me to do that?

**i_cant_die: **…

Am I missing something here?

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Sir Leon. I see that you are well.

**i_cant_die: **What exactly is going on?

**queenofcamelot25: **NOTHING! Nothing is going on!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Sir Leon. If you value your life then remember you never saw anything!

**i_cant_die: **Read my username

**best_uncle_EVAH: **GRRR!

**queenofcamelot25: **I'm just going to disappear!

**queenofcamelot25 has left the conversation**

**i_cant_die: **Why are you consorting with Morgana? You remember, she's the ENEMY!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **You forget your place, knight. I don't have to answer your questions.

**best_uncle_EVAH has left the conversation**

**i_cant_die: **…

well that was awkward.

**Leon's right, that was awkward. I have had a few requests for Agravaine/Morgana time. And viola (although I wrote this before I was requested). So do review/follow/favourite and we'll see you next week with more goodies.**

_**Clarkygirl-AWKWARDNESS! I really pity Morgana, the poor dear has to deal with a half-crazed hormonal Aggy. …Leon was my doing by the way I actually had an input this time! (aren't you proud of me chocolate) But yeah…I will shut up and go and write…hehe…**_


	13. Chat 12: Monarch of Camelot!

**Hey guys. No12 here. Just to warn you, there's an awful lot of caps lock typing (or as I like to call it, **_**the Curse of the Pendragon's Caps Locks**_**.) Do you like it? I will definitely write about it. So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-That was a golden idea! Chocolate's getting good at this don't you think? Anyways, this is hilarious so have fun! **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Monarch of Camelot!**

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamelot25 has joined the conversation**

**King_Uther has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamelot25: **I WILL KILL YOU ARTHUR AND I WILL BE QUEEN!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Yeah right, says who?

**queenofcamelot25: **I AM THE OLDER CHILD OF UTHER PENDRAGON!

**epickingofawesomeness: **And? According to Geoffrey's records we're only second cousins AND you're an illegitimate child AND you're a woman. So there :P!

**queenofcamelot25: **I HAVE MAGIC! YOU DON'T! I AM MORE POWERFUL, THEREFORE THE RIGHTFUL MONARCH!

**epickingofawesomeness: **You're a woman…

**queenofcamelot25: **AND YET I AM FAR MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU! THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU ARE STILL ALIVE IS BECAUSE OF EMRYS BUT I WILL KILL HIM!

**epickingofawesomeness: **He completely owned you last time. You're screwed.

**queenofcamelot25: **WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM? HE'S AN OLD MAN WHO YOU ARRESTED ONCE!

**epickingofawesomeness: **I know he's more powerful than you. :)

**queenofcamelot25: **I AM THE HIGH PRIESTESS OF THE OLD RELIGION! I HAVE VAST AMOUNTS OF POWER! I CAN BEAT A DOGERRY OLD MAN EASILY!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Yet you haven't already? ':/

**queenofcamelot25: **GO AND DIE ARTHUR BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF!

**King_Uther: **Have you no shame Morgana? Arthur is the rightful King of Camelot as he isn't diseased by magic!

**queenofcamelot25: **MAGIC ISN'T A DISEASE, FATHER! YOU ARE! I AM CERTAINLY GLAD I KILLED YOU!

**epickingofawesomeness: **YOU DID WHAT? BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS THAT STUPID OLD MAN!

**queenofcamelot25: **HOW DARE YOU! THAT STUPID OLD MAN WAS EMRYS AND HE COULDN'T KILL FATHER EVEN IF HE TRIED! IT WAS MY WORK THAT DID IT!

**King_Uther: **YOU WITCH! YOU ARE NOT MY DAUGHTER! YOU HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED BY MAGIC!

**queenofcamelot25: **I HAVE NOT! I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM FOR MY KIND! I FIGHT AGAINST YOU AND YOUR TYRANT SON!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Hey! I'm not a tyrant. I can draw, meaning I'm not a tyrant. That's like the pot calling the kettle black (and then there's the fact that you can't draw to save your life).

**queenofcamelot25: **I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT A TYRANT!

**epickingofawesomness: **Right, and I'm a polka-dotted dragon…

**OK so this really goes well with my companion fic **_**The Curse of the Pendragon Caps Locks**_**. You can see it here, can't you? Read it if you haven't already. Or, even better, re-read it if you have. Do review/ favourite/follow as it means the world. Oh and by the way, I am a feminist and I agree with Morgana here (except for the fact that she is a tyrant, like her father).**

_**Clarkygirl- Arthur is so awesome at times! And yeah, sorry to any feminists out there! This was the medieval period so yeah, it happened. Don't shoot me! –hides behind Chocolate- And as they say Morgana, "it takes one to know one". Anyways! I'll shut up now and leave you all in peace. DO review and whatnot! Bye! –scampers off to write-**_


	14. Chat 13: Who's the Daddy!

**Hey guys. This one's short but meh. Enjoy while I try to use my legs again after that evil PE lesson. At least I'm not on crutches (Clarky).**

_**Clarkygirl- The dysfunctional awkward family. And sibling rivalry taken to the extreme. Welcome to Camelot! ^-^**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Dysfunctional Family**

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

**King_Uther has joined the conversation**

**eyeliner_lover has joined the conversation**

**King_Uther: **Morgause. As much as I hate you, I must tell you something!

**eyeliner_lover: **Charming!I want nothing to do with you, Uther!

**King_Uther: **But I must tell you the truth!

**eyeliner_lover: **What truth? If this is about my dear sister…

**King_Uther: **No! I must tell you! It has nothing to do with Morgana, witch!

**eyeliner_lover: **Do not call me WITCH!

**King_Uther: **I can call you whatever I like! After all, I am your father!

**epickingofawesomeness: **WHAT? SHE'S MY SISTER? THAT SADISTIC NECROMANCER IS MY SISTER!

**eyeliner_lover: **It must run in the family! I've known for a long time now, father!

**epickingofawesomeness: **HOW COULD YOU FATHER! BETRAYING MOTHER LIKE THAT! TWICE EVEN!

**King_Uther: **Vivienne was cold, Arthur! Surely you should understand that!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Um, no? Just coz she was cold doesn't mean you have to sleep with her. It's not like you're obliged to. I mean, when Merlin's cold, I just give him another blanket and throw a goblet at him. I don't jump into bed with him…we are talking about the same type of cold right?

**King_Uther: **You are wrong Arthur! In time you will come to understand that!

**epickingofawesomeness: **But why? Why is it that I have 2 crazy half-sisters trying to kill me slowly and painfully? One of them dead, thank goddess, but the other still alive and kicking but hell bent on revenge and stealing my kingdom!

**eyeliner_lover: **Because you deserve it, you little brat!

**epickingofawesomeness: **…don't make me hit you…

***Uther's a prat. Uther's a prat.* I sing. He is after all. And this is my reason as to why Morgause looks more like Arthur than his own half-sister. It makes sense. Do review/favourite/follow and we shall see you next week for a ridiculously long chat. Meanwhile, I'm going to try and find a cure for Writer's Block.**

_**Clarkygirl-Poor Arthur, he came out worst in the end. Do review and favourite and what not! Also, good thing Uther isn't Christian or being dead will be the least of his problems. **_


	15. Chat 14: Keeping Sisters Happy!

**Hey guys. This is the longest one. It goes well with another one of my fics Nimueh's Guide to Being a High Priestess. You probably don't need to read that to understand this but I do recommend. See my profile. You'll love it. Enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl- You have way too much time Chocolate. I think Nimueh has too much time as well. Now, if only Arthur had the brains to read it. Then maybe he'd catch on quicker! **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Keeping Sisters Happy!**

**eyeliner_lover has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamelot25 has joined the conversation**

**eyeliner_lover: **Sister! How are you?

**queenofcamelot25: **I am well sister. Soon I shall become Queen!

**eyeliner_lover: **You are not already? Though your username suggests otherwise!

**queenofcamelot25: **Not yet. However, I have a plan!

**eyeliner_lover: **You have read through Nimueh's Guide to Being a Successfully Evil High Priestess, right? If you follow her advice then you certainly will be queen!

**queenofcamelot25: **Of course I have!

**eyeliner_lover: **If so then you would be wearing red, right?

**queenofcamelot25: **Well, I prefer black actually. So Agravaine bought me half a dozen black dresses and cloaks. He even dry cleans them for me. It's better to sneak around at night in.

**eyeliner_lover: **Hmm. Ok then. You do have a trademark piece of makeup right?

**queenofcamelot25: **I wear green eye-shadow. Moss is very common near the hovel. All I have to do is dampen it and rub it on my eyelid.

**eyeliner_lover: **Lovely. Are you smirking?

**queenofcamelot25: **Of course I am smirking! How dare YOU suggest otherwise! Anyway, my face can only smirk now. Smiling hurts my face!

**eyeliner_lover: **Very good. Remember to be dramatic!

**queenofcamelot25: **I am always dramatic!

**eyeliner_lover: **Good. You are using the art of bringing back people from the dead, right?

**queenofcamelot25: **I plan to soon. :-,

**eyeliner_lover: **Hmm… OK. You are trying to kill Arthur, right?

**queenofcamelot25: **Well that's the plan anyway. How else will I become Queen?

**eyeliner_lover: **You know you will never succeed anyway, right?

**queenofcamelot25: **WHAT? BUT YOU SAID! Anyway, when I kill Emrys then it will be easy to kill Arthur!

**eyeliner_lover: **Yes I am aware of what I said. However, Emrys will never die. Ever.

**queenofcamelot25: **WHAT? EMRYS WILL DIE!

**eyeliner_lover: **OK sister. Calm down. Anyway, you are flirting with Merlin and Arthur right?

**queenofcamelot25: **EW! NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS! THAT IS MY HALF-BROTHER AND HIS INCOMPETENT SERVANT YOU KNOW!

**eyeliner_lover: **And mine too but I still did it, knowing so. However, you are hanging out at Isle of the Blessed, right?

**queenofcamelot25: **No! I prefer my hovel!

**eyeliner_lover: **I don't know sister, the isle is a tradition. You are wearing cloaks of evil right?

**queenofcamelot25: **Well of course I am. It is cold.

**eyeliner_lover: **Good. Does Gwen hate you?

**queenofcamelot25: **Loathes me, sister!

**eyeliner_lover: **You must stick to the words of Nimueh more. Re-read Nimueh's Guide to Being an Evil High Priestess!

**epic_high_priestess has joined the conversation**

**epic_high_priestess: **I see you are talking about me.

**eyeliner_lover: **Nimueh! Long time, no see. I want to thank you for your help. We actually managed to capture the citadel once for a whole week thanks to your guide!

**epic_high_priestess: **I see. Let me guess, Merlin stopped you?

**eyeliner_lover: **Yes he did! With the help of that meddlesome physician! However, Morgana is still constantly trying to kill him even though she shouldn't!

**epic_high_priestess: **Well Morgana. There is no point. It never works. Emrys is immortal!

**queenofcamelot25: **Emrys? Where is that old man? I'll kill him before he kills me!

**epic_high_priestess: **Oh Morgause. I pity you for having to put up with her. She is far too paranoid for her own good.

**eyeliner_lover: **I know. However she is a very good sorceress.

**queenofcamelot25: **I am here you know!

**epic_high_priestess: **Yet not a good enough Evil High Priestess, like us both! Where is she failing?

**eyeliner_lover: **Well, she never wears red! Only black!

**epic_high_priestess: **But why? Red shows you are evil!

**eyeliner_lover: **Who knows? She is also obsessing over killing Emrys and Arthur! We both know there's no point!

**epic_high_priestess: **Really? It's true there is no point. I mean, once I tried to kill both of them and Emrys' mother. Yet, I ended up exploding!

**eyeliner_lover: **We just can't win can we! She also never flirts with Merlin and Arthur!

**epic_high_priestess: **But flirting with them is fun! Makes them more confused!

**eyeliner_lover: **I know. But she's going on about how Arthur's her brother and poisonings. Oh I don't know! She's terrible! She doesn't even stay at the Isle of the Blessed!

**epic_high_priestess: **Why? It's our home!

**queenofcamelot25: **Because it's cold and it's wet and it creeps me out!

**Phew, my arms can go on a break now. Ah yes, Morgana certainly hasn't been living up to expectations, has she?**

**That reminds me. Have you noticed how easy it is to kill Arthur and Uther? All you need to do is sneak into their chambers in the dead of night and stab them in their sleep. Merlin wouldn't realise until morning so that makes it easier. Yet everyone goes for the drama, which is actually quite stupid. It's like they want to fail!**

**Do review/favourite/follow. Means the world!**

_**Clarkygirl- They just can win can they? It's amusing to watch them struggle though. I feel sorry for Morgana though, such expectations. Well done Chocolate! Do review and follow and whatnot. See you all next week!**_


	16. Chat 15: Emrys vs Le Fey!

**Hola mi amigos! Chocky here with another chat in our Camelot Chatrooms series. I bet you are all happy now. Just to let you know, Emrys is not going to be Merlin's last name as in the legends, it is Ambrosias (which also means immortal). Enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-This one is hilarious so enjoy…and Chocolate's abandoning me for her holiday so I'll be in charge this next. For the next two weeks though I'll be on holiday and all so three updates today. I feel so alone…TT^TT So yeah, please PM me if I forget when I get back. I do not want to face the wrath of chocolate. (Don't believe anyone who says she's a pacifist, she is vicious!) But everything will still be on her profile so don't worry about where they're going. **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Emrys vs Le Fay!**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamelot25 has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamellot25: **YOU! I WILL KILL YOU AND TAKE THE THRONE!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Morgana! Face it, you're rubbish. It would never work!

**queenofcamelot25: **You lie! I am the best queen ever and I will take back my birth right!

**imanawesomewarlock: **And how are you going to do that exactly? With more pointless help from your little lap dog Agravaine?

**queenofcamelot25: **You know? But how?

**imanawesomewarlock: **He's pretty obvious. Just like you were!

**queenofcamelot25: **I WASN'T OBVIOUS!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Really? Even though you were always smirking and wearing red and leaving the castle at night in a red cloak?

**queenofcamelot25: **It's not like anyone else realised! Just you, you little worm!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Gwen and Gaius did, for the reasons listed above.

**queenofcamelot25: **OH I WILL MAKE YOU RUE THE DAY YOU POISONED ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Pfft. You stuck a snake in my neck. I win on the poisoning grounds. You have to admit that is much worse.

**queenofcamelot25: **YOU POISONED ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **YOU STUCK A SNAKE IN MY NECK!

**queenofcamelot25: **YOU POISONED ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **YOU STUCK A SNAKE IN MY NECK!

**queenofcamelot25: **YOU POISONED ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **YOU STUCK A SNAKE IN MY NECK!

-some time later-

**queenofcamelot25: **YOU POISONED ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **YOU STUCK A SNAKE IN MY NECK!

-much later-

**queenofcamelot25: **YOU POISONED ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **YOU STUCK A SNAKE IN MY NECK!

**And you can imagine this went on for absolutely ages. Fun times. Please review/favourite/follow because I love you all so much because you are awesome. See you in three weeks!**

_**Clarkygirl- They were still arguing when I checked back a few days later. Anyways, do review and whatnot. And please remind me to update if I forget. See ya!**_


	17. Chat 16: Burning!

**Hallo! Chocky has arrived and here is our present to you. Enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-This gem is Chocolate's work. I can claim no credit…sadly…**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Burning!**

**fearmysword has joined the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur has joined the conversation**

**fearmysword: **Gwen! I burned myself again! Help…

**gwenheartarthur: **Oh Elyan! You were wearing gloves, right?

**fearmysword: **Uhhh… um was I supposed to?

**gwenheartarthur: **Elyan! Remember what father told you when he taught us?

**fearmysword: **…

…

um…

…

uhh…

…

**gwenheartarthur: **Elyan! Anyway, I would help you but I have to help Arthur with his kingly duties while he trains.

**fearmysword: **But Gwen!

**gwenheartarthur: **No buts Elyan. You're not 5 anymore!

**fearmysword: **Pretty please, with a cherry in top?

**gwenheartarthur: **Elyan!

**fearmysword: **I'll get Arthur out of training for you.

**gwenheartarthur: **The day that happens is the day the world ends.

**fearmysword: **Give me a sec.

**gwenheartarthur: **Elyan? Are you there? Hello?

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

**epickingofawesomeness: **Hey Guinevere. There's no training today, all the equipment has gone missing. Do you wanna go on a picnic or something?

**gwenheartarthur: **What?

**fearmysword: **You so owe me Gwennie.

**epickingofawesomeness: **So is that a yes?

**gwenheartarthur: **Sorry Arthur. I want to go and pick lots of purple flowers today. Why don't you go on one with Merlin? He'll enjoy it far more than me.

**epickingofawesomeness: **…uhhh…

**fearmysword: **She says yes!

**gwenheartarthur: **No Elyan! I said no!

**fearmysword: **That means yes!

**gwenheartarthur: **Elyan! I clearly said no, meaning no!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Should I come back a bit later?

**fearmysword: **NO!

**gwenheartarthur: **YES!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Right… uh… I'll see you in 10 minutes then?

**gwenheartarthur: **Make it 10 hours!

**fearmysword: **Yeah, she'll be there in 10!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Alright! See you!

**epickingofawesomeness has left the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur: **Elyan! Stop interfering with my love life!

**fearmysword: **:P

**gwenheartarthur: **That's it! I'm decorating the forge with flowers!

**fearmysword: **Don't forget your date!

**Elyan's burnt himself stupidly. Of course he has to go to Gwen for help. And I agree with her. Picking flowers is better than going on a date. Review/Favourite/Follow if you loved this or even if you hated it. Bye.**

_**Clarkygirl- I relate so much to Elyan. He's is such a little brother…It's absolutely adorable. Poor Arthur…that must've been awkward. All those with siblings, this will be you in ten years' time! I promise. My sister did this to me with a boy I barely knew! Do review and yeah one more to go for this update. Do review!**_


	18. Chat 17: Reminiscing!

**Hola my little friends! It is I, Chocy! And I have graced you with a lovely little present. It would really help if Clarky could actually a) spell, b) write with neat handwriting and c) use punctuation. But oh well. Enjoy my hard work trying to decipher her handwriting.**

_**Clarkygirl- Ah come on, its not THAT bad! Anyways, this is the last update for the next two weeks. If I don't update by Thursday, PM me because it means I've forgotten. Anyways, enjoy. This was a fun one to do.**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Reminiscing!**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**lancelotdulac has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock: **Lancelot! Hey! You've missed a lot!

**lancelotdulac: **Oh, hello

**imanawesomewarlock: **Seriously! I have a new baby dragon called Aithusia and she doesn't go on about how I and Arthur are soul mates or whatever.

**lancelotdulac: **What happened to the one downstairs?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Ha ha. Nice one. You know exactly what happened.

**lancelotdulac: **A dragon is for life, not just for Yuletide.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Except Kilgharrah! He's for never. He really hates Gwen. Not sure why though?

**lancelotdulac: **Maybe she nicked his treasure or something?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Something about ruining his coin. I still can't believe he can use his magic to hack into my chatroom! Stupid overgrown lizard!

**lancelotdulac: **You mean yours and Arthur's?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Don't talk to me about that. Why is everyone convinced that we are courting?

**lancelotdulac: **Did I hit a nerve?

**imanawesomewarlock: **I didn't get any sleep last night because that damn lizard decided to torture me with his coin lecture! He's trying to convince me to let him eat Gwen!

**lancelotdulac: **HELL NO! I shall protect you Guinevere!

**imanawesomewarlock: **You're dead.

**lancelotdulac: **So are you, weren't you supposed to be mucking out the horses?

**imanawesomewarlock: **There's a metal and glass thingy in the stables…

**lancelotdulac: **And you're doing both at the same time?

**imanawesomewarlock: **I'm Emrys! Of course I can!

**lancelotdulac: **If Arthur ever found out, he'd probably flip a table…two. Maybe even the round one.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Nope. He's too much of a dollop head to even bother to try that.

**lancelotdulac: **What's he done now?

**imanawesomewarlock: **His uncle Agravaine, who wears black and smirks, is trying to kill Arthur because he lusts after Morgana. How creepy.

**lancelotdulac: **That works

…

Wait. Aren't you supposed to go save him?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Probably…

**Gwaine_the_awesome has joined the conversation**

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Guess what Leon just told me!

**lancelotdulac: **Go on…

**imanawesomewarlock: **Is Leon drunk?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **He's passed out in the tavern. Who knew he was so wild when he's drunk. I got a tonne of pictures of him using my iBox. Anyway, did you know Uther married a troll!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Urgh, don't remind me. Awkward but absolutely hilarious. At first.

**lancelotdulac: **You're kidding right?

**imanawesomewarlock: **She had tusks! Well, at least I think it was a she.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Uther's such an idiot! He actually married a troll! Oh the things he did in the bedroom with the troll!

**lancelotdulac: **I think I'm going to be sick.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Imagine how I felt. I had to clean up afterwards. Also, when I was a fugitive, I saw it happen with my very own eyes.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **That must have been so awesome!

**imanawesomewarlock: **I WAS SCARRED FOR LIFE!

**lancelotdulac: **Ok…we're done talking about this. What else did I miss?

**imanawesomewarlock: **At one point, Gaius was licking coins and Arthur grew donkey ears and brayed.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **I always knew the Princess was an ass.

**lancelotdulac: **Oh wow… anything else.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Then I came along! It was the best thing that ever happened…ever!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Running debts in the Rising Sun and flirting with Gwen. Arthur wanted to kill you right then and there.

**lancelotdulac: **Who Gwen? No! She's too innocent.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Pfft. A week before she met you, she was kissing my unconscious self. Awkward. Anyway, she was really impressed with your displays. She was prepared to abandon Arthur for you until Arthur started to act possessive and jealous. :D

**lancelotdulac: **Really? I feel so fuzzy inside.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Poor Lancelot! She was convinced she was completely and utterly in love with me. I found her notebook by accident and it was her planning our wedding. That was so weird. I had to get Morgause to burn it.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Urgh this is confusing.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Yes it is. This conversation is terminated before Arthur finds a way to see this, murders me, and sends me to Tartarus. Knowing him, that wouldn't be too hard.

**lancelotdulac: **Wait, is that him heading to your quarters?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Oh you better run!

**imanawesomewarlock has left the conversation**

**And voila! It is done. Did you like it? Do tell us. Bye. See you next week.**

_**Clarkygirl-I had so much fun with this. Especially the troll bit. Did anyone catch the KIU Magnus quote? Probably not. Ah well, my inner fangirl is satisfied. Gwaine is so awesome. And lancelot…is just lancelot. A virtual (non-existent) cookie to the person can guess which of us did who! Keep reviewing and see you next week.**_


	19. Chat 18: Speech to Text!

**Hi peeps. This is ridiculously short. Oh well, enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-She actually did speech to text on phone to do this. I promise this isn't made up. Enjoy. My spleen died while I read this.**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Speech to Text!**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**MerlinsMum has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock: Mother! How's the iBox I made you?**

**MerlinsMum: **It jobs in la!

**imanawesomewarlock: **What? Oh well, how are you? How's Ealdor?

**MerlinsMum: **Eighty's collar. The hobbit man. I am flying dime.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Mother? Are you OK?

**MerlinsMum: ***It* *Doesn't* *Work*!

**imanawesomewarlock: **What doesn't work?

**MerlinsMum: **P O Box!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Oh the iBox. Whoops. I guess speech to text has been switched on and you can't type anything at all. I don't know how to switch it off though.

**MerlinsMum: **Sightseeing Bend!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Sightseeing Bend? I don't understand. Oh well, nice catching up with you mother.

**imanawesomewarlock has left the conversation**

**I would say that I know what Hunith is saying, but I can't remember. It was a while ago that I wrote it. Basically, I used speech to text with my old phone (Samsung Galaxy Europa) when I was first drafting it. But when I wrote it up, I had to check the speech to text again on my new phone (iPhone 4) and the annoying thing is, the iPhone 4 one had a better speech to text. Totally doesn't help me and my creative genius. Anyway goodbye.**

_**Clarkygirl-That's me when I have no tea, or doing astronomy gcse stuff…or both…THE HORROR! Do review and yeah, if you reminded then thanks!**_


	20. Chat 19: Horseplay!

**Hey guys. So this chat is Clarky's idea unsurprisingly. Too bad her handwriting was at her worst when writing this. Enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-We started writing this but then SOMEONE –glares at Chocolate- decided to finish it after Clarky went home. So it didn't come out as funny as I would've liked. But I'm too nice to change it so…yeah…enjoy. Still can't ride because of my dodgy swollen knee…TT^TT**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Horse Play!**

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**lancelotdulac has joined the conversation**

**lancelotdulac: **Merlin, Arthur! How are the horses and the stables?

**epickingofawesomeness: **You would not believe this new stallion we got in! He's twice the size of your old horse, Slepnir.

**lancelotdulac: **And how is the old girl?

**epickingofawesomeness: **You mean boy, right?

**lancelotdulac: **So that means Slepnir can't get pregnant. She must hate that.

**epickingofawesomeness: **For Zeus' sake Lancelot. Slepnir was a boy who couldn't get pregnant and he died of colic a few months before you did. Remember?

**lancelotdulac: **NOOOOOOOOO! Slepnir's my only true love, except Guinevere!

**imanawesomewarlock: **This is awkward.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Right…

**lancelotdulac: **Did you replace her? O.o

**imanawesomewarlock: **For Zeus' sake. Slepnir died and Arthur got a new horse. Who I might add is a right beast! He nearly ate my hand along with the carrot!

**Lancelotdulac**: Did he say what it tasted like? I bet you anything it tasted like chicken, yellow bellied spineless chicken.

**Imanawesomewarlock**: Which it ghost boy!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Thank you Merlin. That was most helpful. Shouldn't you be mucking out the stables?

**imanawesomewarlock: **There's wi-fi in the stables. That means my iBox works!

**epickingofawesomeness: **I really need to get round to disabling that Merlin. We can't have you skiving off work.

**imanawesomewarlock: **But…but…but…whatever, prat! XP

**lancelotdulac: **I should go. Hades and Persephone are demanding my audience.

**epickingofawesomeness:** Bye fellow dead horse lover!

**lancelotdulac has left the conversation**

Now Merlin! Get a move on with mucking out the stables or you'll have to spend the night in the stocks. After that, you can polish my armour and polish my boots and do my laundry and change my bed linen and fetch my dinner and clean up after training and groom my new horse and shoe my new horse and…blah blah blah flowers blah blah blah horse blah blah blah blah sword blah blah blah stocks

**imanawesomewarlock: **Yes your royal pratliness!

**Wow Arthur is a pretty rubbish BFF. Lol Lancelot claims to be a lover of horses but knows little about them. Ha ha. Do review/follow/favourite, much appreciated.**

_**Clarkygirl- the ending was inspired by Akreon and whats-her-face from DA the amazing authors of Off-White. The whole blah blahthing is Merlin's perception of what Arthur is writing not what Arthur is actually saying. I kinda ran out of ideas… anywaysyou can tell I'm missing the stables what with me being a few days off crutches. I am sad…TT^TT Anyways, Lancelot reminds me of a lot of people I know. Do review and what not and see you all later…preferably when I can ride once more. –to the horse she normally rides- "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't when, but I know that we'll meet again…" –trails off into song-**_


	21. Chat 20: Love and Apples!

**Aloha. How are you? Yes I am back from my 3 week holiday in Sri Lanka. Sorry we're late, blame Clarky. Here is a Gwaine/Percival chat so if it's not your cup of tea then please ignore it. It's not a pairing that I will use too much, just a background pairing. So enjoy.**

_**Clarkygirl- Hehe, sorry for the lateness, I was being lazy (and ill) so I didn't get these done as I should. Enjoy!**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Love and Apples!**

**thegreatbear75 has joined the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur has joined the conversation**

**thegreatbear75: **Gwen, I have a problem!

**gwenheartarthur: **Oh hello Percy. Are you OK?

**thegreatbear75: **Did you completely miss what I just said? I'm not ok! I'm in love!

**gwenheartarthur: **Oh that's brilliant. I remember first finding myself crushing on Arthur. Oh, happy days, happy days, probably…Anyway, who are you in love with? Do I know her?

**thegreatbear75: **Yes you know him.

**gwenheartarthur: **That's brilliant! So who is it?

**thegreatbear75: **Gwaine TT^TT

**gwenheartarthur: **Gwaine? As in flirting with everything that breathes and most things that don't and also in love with apples Gwaine?

**thegreatbear75: **Yes that Gwaine. He's brave, handsome, funny and hot.

**gwenheartarthur: **Sounds like you have it bad! Aw it's so adorable. I call dibs on bridesmaid.

**thegreatbear75: **But Gwaine doesn't even like me in that way. After all, why would he?

**gwenheartarthur: **Because you two are meant to be. It's so adorable. I have proof.

**thegreatbear75: **Proof? Proof of what?

**gwenheartarthur: **Proof that he's in love with you, silly. Give me a second.

**fearmysword has joined the conversation**

Elyan, tell Percy what Gwaine told you.

**fearmysword: **I don't know Gwen. He would kill me.

**gwenheartarthur: **He's probably too busy stuffing his face with apples to care. But, if you don't then I'll tell that servant you like about the teddy bear that you cuddle up to every night. What was it you called him? Snoofie

**fearmysword: **You wouldn't dare.

**gwenheartarthur: **We both know I would, little brother.

**fearmysword: …**

Fine. Gwaine told me that he has been in love with you since you saved him from the dorocha, falling on top of him. He said that he felt butterflies in his tummy. Although, thinking about it…that might have been due to the obscene amount of ale he had.

**thegreatbear75: **He did? So what should I do?

**gwenheartarthur: **Tell him how you feel. Then I can start planning your wedding.

**thegreatbear75: **Thank you Gwen.

**gwenheartarthur: **Wait right there.

**Gwaine_the_awesome has joined the chatroom**

**gwenheartarthur: **Hello Gwaine. Nice to see you. Why don't you read the whole conversation?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **Percy, *CRUNCH*, you're in love, *CRUNCH*, with ME?

**thegreatbear75: **Uh, yes.

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **That's brilliant! I'm in love with you too! 8D!

**thegreatbear75: **Oh, that's nice. Um would you like to go on a date to the tavern?

**Gwaine_the_awesome: **The Tavern? Now your talking my language!

**gwenheartarthur: **Some things never change.

**fearmysword: **I agree with you sis.

Just don't tell anyone about Snoofie!

**So did you like it? If you were wondering, the *CRUNCH* is basically Gwaine eating an apple. I've checked how many reviews we have now since I last was in the country and OMFG! Thank you so much guys you have no idea how much I love you guys. I will read them all but I don't know about replying to them because I have no idea which ones Clarky replied to. Do review/follow/favourite. Bye.**

_**Clarkygirl-I didn't reply to any because I'm evil. No, its chocolate's idea so she gets the honours. Why Gwaine writes out *CRUNCH* is beyond me but then again he's insane. I pity Percy, I really do. Thanks for the reviews, they were awesome! Keep doing it and I will continue on my very overdue Heart. **_


	22. Chat 21: Girl Bonding!

**Hola mi amigos. Bet you weren't expecting an update so soon. But as Clarky was finally bothering to do her duty, we can update pretty much every day until we go back to school next Thursday. So I'm here with a little bit of fem-bromancing. I still don't know what they call a bromance between two women. Oh and it features an infamous argument between Arthur and Merlin. So enjoy.**

_**Clarkygirl- Beware this chapter contains donkey ears, donkey ears and goblets. And paper work lots and lots of paperwork.**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Girl Bonding!**

**Lady_of_the_Lake has joined the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur has joined the conversation**

**gwenheartarthur: **Hello Freya!

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Hello Gwen!

**gwenheartarthur: **How's the lake?

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **It's very nice today. The nymphs have been helping me annoy Morgana. She's on the Isle trying to do some paperwork. Half of it is already soppin' wet!

**gwenheartarthur: **Oh that's nice

Oh dear Arthur and Merlin are at it again

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Again? Could you possibly use the webcam so I can see what's happening?

**gwenheartarthur: **Give me a mo

Ah, there you go. The two of them are obviously trying to outbanter each other again.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **I never realised how funny it is.

**gwenheartarthur: **Extremely so. I root for Merlin as he's a lot smarter than Arthur.

Oh they're on the prat and idiot bit.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **LOL

Wait, was that a goblet that just hit Merlin?

**gwenheartarthur: **What? Oh yeah. Arthur for some stupid reason tends to end his arguments with throwing things at Merlin. It's mostly goblets. Fortunately Merlin learnt to duck.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Oh thank goodness. I really don't want my Merlin to have brain damage.

**gwenheartarthur: **Too late for that I'm afraid. Merlin always had brain damage what with all the stress of the whole keeping magic a secret thing. Not really working though. But, it's really sweet that you really care about him. If Arthur gets hurt due to Merlin, I'd just laugh…a lot.

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Of course I do.

Wait, are those donkey ears?

**gwenheartarthur: **Oh not again. I thought Merlin grew out of that phase weeks ago. I should go and get an antidote from Gaius!

**Lady_of_the_Lake: **Bye Gwen! Come to the lake soon!

**gwenheartarthur has left the conversation**

Donkey ears? Really Merlin?

**Yes that's men for you. Oh well, I'm sure Arthur will be fine, if not craving grass for a while. Do review/favourite/follow. Bye.**

_**Clarkygirl- Merlin should really get a new tactic. But watching Arthur stagger around braying and munching grass is too amusing. He'll get depressed in a minute and his ears will flop down. Well anyways, keep reviewing and I shall return to Heart. Bye! **_


	23. Chat 22: Mind Games!

**Hi guys. Whoops. There goes my plan for updating every day until we go back to school. Blame books. They're so addictive. Here we have for you is something Clarky wrote (but I helped, don't worry. It's won't be utterly insane or completely about animals (or tea)). So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl- I take full credit for this gold! Can any Kid Icarus fans spot Viridi? Can Abyss fans spot Asch or Jade? And can anyone else spot Morgana? She's the one shouting in the middle!**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Mind Games!**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**queenofcamelot25 has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock: **Hey Morgana!

**queenofcamelot25: **What do you want, you little toad?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Guess what?

**queenofcamelot25:** I have a feeling that I'll regret this but what?

**imanawesomewarlock: **I know where Emrys is? ^-^

**queenofcamelot25: **What the-? TELL ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **uhh…no :P

**queenofamelot25: **TELL ME YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE HOLE IN THE GROUND!

**imanawesomewarlock: **hehehe…no…

**queenofcamelot25: **TELL ME BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES AND REPLACE IT WITH A SNAKE AND THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF YOU PATHETIC LITTLE REJECT!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Temper, temper, don't you know the saying you'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar.

**queenofcamelot25: **I'LL FEED YOU TO A SPIDER IF YOU DON'T TELL ME!

**imanawesomewarlock: **my, my, you really are in a bad mood. Fine I'll give you a clue.

**queenofcamelot25: **TELL ME GODDESS DAMMIT!

**imanawesomewarlock: **His true name begins with an M

**queenofcamelot25: **Morgause?

**imanawesomewarlock:** Let me finish. Besides, I said 'him' not her.

**queenofamelot25: **3

**imanawesomewarlock:** and ends with –erlin.

**queenofcamelot25: **?

**imanawesomewarlock: **He's the most amazing servant in the history of servanting.

**queenofcamelot25: **George?

**imanawesomewarlock: **You're not listening!

**queenofcamelot25: **SHUT UP!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Well how can I? If I do then you'll never find out who Emrys is! I'm the only one who knows!

**queenofcamelot25: **damn you…

**imanawesomewarlock: **He only wears red and blue.

**queenofcamelot25: **it has to be George.

**imanawesomewarlock: **IT'S ME YOU FOOL!

**queenofcamelot25: **…

…

…

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

rofl

hahahahahahaha

lmao

that's the funniest thing I've ever heard

hahahahahahahahaha

-dies of laughter-

**imanawesomewarlock: **TT^TT

…damn you all…

**Well how was that? Of course, Morgana will totally miss all the clues. It's the curse of being a Pendragon (that and having a faulty Caps Lock button). Oh she is very oblivious (and paranoid). It's a family trait. So review/favourite/follow and you will get 100 virtual cookies each if you do so (hurry before Gwaine steals them all). **

_**Clarkygirl- This was hilarious to write, I was grinning like the Cheshire cat. And I managed to bring in so many characters for the insults and counters. I have a feeling that any Pendragon would just burst out laughing if Merlin told them he had magic. Arthur might actually split his spleen. Anyways, do review and I'll disappear back into Heart.**_


	24. Chat 23: House!

**Hey. Chocky here and our favourite creepy teenager with a gangster fetish is back. Hail to Mordred the Creepy. Seriously, why didn't the writers of Merlin make him King instead of Arthur and Morgana. That would have been a very funny reign. So enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl- Oh God, I just imagined Mordred as a gangster king…I will never unsee that…**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- House!**

**druidindahouse has joined the conversation**

**the_great_dragon has joined the conversation**

**i_cant_die has joined the conversation**

**druidindahouse: **D: MY HAUS HAS BURNT DAWN!

**i_cant_die: **Aw poor you, how did you manage that?

**druidindahouse: **It ain't ma fault! I woz at da market gettin a new grn cloak. I wnt hme n it woz on fire! TT^TT

**the_great_dragon: **You were at the market? Oh for Merther's sake! I was so close…yet so far TT^TT

**druidindahouse: **It woz da dragon?

**the_great_dragon: **and the penny drops. Thicker than you look aren't you? YOU are an annoying little brat who needs to die! Preferably in the very near future! You should try jumping off a cliff, tomorrow! Or now, now is good!

**i_cant_die: **That's no way to speak to a child. Apologise. Dragon or no dragon, manners are a must in every civilised conversation.

**the_great_dragon: **this is civilised?

**i_cant_die: **Just apologise.

**the_great_dragon: **No! He deserves it!

**i_cant_die: **say sorry!

**the_great_dragon: **No! He will kill Arthur and ruin my coin before it can flourish!

**i_cant_die: **What are you on about?

**the_great_dragon: **Arthur and Merlin all the way! Die Gwen! Die Mordred! All those who oppose the coin will be incinerated.

**i_cant_die: **I have absolutely no idea what you're on about. But, I do expect you to pay for Mordred's new house.

**the_great_dragon: **I'm a dragon! How the Hades am I supposed to do that? I don't have money! I don't even have pockets for money you idiot!

**i_cant_die: **You're a dragon. You have a treasure trove somewhere. All self-respecting dragons have treasure.

**the_great_dragon: **I'm not self-respecting.

**i_cant_die: **It's in the old dead oak in north darkling woods.

**the_great_dragon: **It's not mine. Probably Aithusia's.

**i_cant_die: **She's a few months old. She can't even fly four feet. How do you propose she got up a 30ft tree with no claws?

**the_great_dragon: **maybe it's another dragon's?

**i_cant_die: **What other dragons? You and Aithusia are the last…

**the_great_dragon:** And how exactly do you know about Aithusia?

**i_cant_die: **Merlin talks in his sleep.

**the_great_dragon: **You were watching him sleep? Creeper much! Only Arthur can do that!

**i_cant_die: **You do know we end up sleeping rough in pretty much every episode. Merlin has a very loud voice. The whole of Camelot heard it.

**the_great_dragon: **I will kill you and incinerate your corpse!

**i_cant_die: **Read the username!

**the_great_dragon: **Damn! Why can't I win?

**i_cant_die: **Because you're a cryptic crap-spewing reptilian weirdo who belongs in a children's fairy tale.

**the_great_dragon: **I hate you all…

**druidindahouse: **Im stll hre u no

**the_great_dragon: **Silence you insignificant little worm! Nobody wants you here on this planet so go and implode somewhere in a corner.

**druidindahouse: **Im so unluvd

**Oh Mordred, we love you really (read: Only Chocky and that's when he became hot in Series 5). Oh Killy. Merthur will happen, just keep hoping. Also, there's the voodoo doll option. Make one of Gwen. That would be good. When she is killed, Merlin and Arthur can finally unite and live happily ever after, which is exactly all we have ever wanted. I have to admit, this chat is one of my two favourites I've ever done (so far). The other one is Gaius and the Sleeping Draft which is absolutely brilliant. So do review/follow/favourite please before I get even higher on chocolate.**

_**Clarkygirl- Kilgarrah, kilgarrah when will you learn. You can't incinerate people, that never works. Look what happened to Darth Vader, he just came and destroyed everyone anyway. No, no, no You have to capture them rip out their throats and hearts and tear them to pieces and THEN incinerate them. That way they stay dead and all your troubles are solved. Except for the murder charge you'll get for killing them but that's avoidable. Just roar and spew crap and they'll run for their lives. Leon is so awesome. I still can't get Mordred's boots out of my head from series 1. That had me and my sister wetting ourselves for some unknown reason. Do review and I'll see you all when I actually bother to beta these chapters.**_


	25. Chat 24: Agravaine the Aggravating!

**Hi. Sad times, it's the last day of freedom for the two of us as we have to go back to school tomorrow *cries*. As you will see very soon, this shat contains a lot of creepy, paedo one-sided Agravaine/Morgana. And hints of Merthur, unsurprisingly. Those two belong together. Surprisingly, I managed to get Clarky to read a Merthur fic today and she did enjoy it. So enjoy this too…**

_**Clarkygirl- It was Disney! How couldn't I?! But this is hilarious. Seriously who came up with Agravaine's name, because they are awesome!**_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Agravaine the Aggravating!**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**best_uncle_EVAH has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock: **What do you want Agravaine?

**best_uncle_EVAH: **I need to kill you! You are a menace to society, especially my mistress.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Shut up and go away, creep!

**best_uncle_EVAH: **I shall not until you are wiped off the face of this planet. To tell you the truth, I don't care much if you are actually on this planet but I have a feeling that if I do manage to incinerate you, my Lady Morgana might just let me share her bed. It's my life's ambition.

**imanawesomewarlock: **You want to do THAT to Morgana. I might loathe Morgana but I wouldn't wish that fate on even my worst enemy (who is Morgana. Or is Mordred? Well, one of the two.) Anyway, Arthur is super protective over Morgana and her virtue, even though she might be trying to kill him. If he knew, he would kill you.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Ha! I'll only kill him before he manages to strike a blow.

**imanawesomewarlock: **You do realise that she would sooner marry a rabid sea snake than take YOU to bed. Hades, she would sooner marry Uther than take YOU to bed.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **SILENCE YOU LITTLE TOAD! YOU HAVE OVERSTEPPED YOUR PLACE! AND ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY BELOVED?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Really? I know more about her than you. Anyway, you must tell me all about your next plan of action to try and overthrow Arthur.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Well, we plan to resurrect Lancelot du Lac. He shall seduce that servant girl. What's her name again? Genevieve? The one that Arthur is stupidly convinced he is in love with when in actual fact he's actually in love with you, but oh well what can you do?

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

Then he and the serving wench will elope. Arthur's heart will pretend to break. Morgana and I will cut him down. After that, Morgana and I will rule Camelot as King and Queen. She shall be my Queen.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Arthur! You saw that! You witnessed his confession. I could kiss you right now for finally turning up at the right moment in time.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **…me and my big mouth…

**imanawesomewarlock: **See! See! Look! Evil!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Agravaine…

**best_uncle_EVAH: **Goddess help me…

**epickingofawesomeness: **YOU. ARE. THE. BEST. UNCLE. EVER!

**imanawesomewarlock: **WTF?... O O

TT

**epickingofawesomeness: **You figured out Morgana's plan! Well done! :D

**imanawesomewarlock: **But…but. Damn, I was kind of looking forward to that kiss.

**best_uncle_EVAH: **It… was very difficult… but I did it just for my favourite little nephew.

**imanawesomewarlock: **BUT ARTHUR!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Merlin! Haven't you got to finish polishing my sword?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Go to Tartarus Agravaine.

**imanawesomewarlock has left the conversation**

**best_uncle_EVAH: **he he he…

**Poor Morgana. She might be completely batty but no one deserves that fate. Not even Kilgharrah. She'll always be my favourite crazy witch. Please review/favourite/follow. Gwaine recommends it. **

_**Clarkygirl- Arthur is such a blind idiot. In more ways than one. Poor poor Merlin, he tries so hard to save Arthur the trouble of nearly dying. He wouldn't see the truth if it was the size of the Kilgharrah and it hit him in the face. **_


	26. Chat 25: King of the Underworld!

**Hola mi amigos! Chocky here with a Greek Mythology themed chat. 1****st**** day back at school today- urgh. Our head teacher has gone completely crazy by knocking the canteen down. On a positive note, we started later and only had two periods and I'm now form captain because our form loves me. Clarky is jealous. The two of us have started this year's form advent calendar, fun times. I'm not sure about how the updates will be as we will be completely busy but we'll try our best. The next few chats have lots of links with Greek Mythology (Clarky and I were clearly in a Percy Jackson/Greek Mythology mood (it happens a lot)). So don't worry if you don't understand, I shall explain at the bottom. Meanwhile, enjoy.**

_**Clarkygirl- I think our classciv teacher is rubbing off on us. We find references to it everywhere now. **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- King of the Underworld!**

**King_Uther has joined the conversation**

**epic_high_priestess has joined the conversation**

**epic_high_priestess: **Hello Uther!

**King_Uther: **GO AWAY WITCH!

**epic_high_priestess: **Now now Uther. That's no way to greet an old friend.

**King_Uther: **YOU KILLED MY WIFE! YOU ARE NO FRIEND OF MINE!

**epic_high_priestess: **Fair enough. However you can spend the rest of eternity with her now as you somehow managed to end up in Elysium with her. Emphasis on the word 'somehow', I mean you did murder hundreds of innocent people for something they had no control over.

**King_Uther: **I GOT INTO ELYSIUM BECAUSE I WAS A GREAT KING THAT DID A LOT OF GOOD FOR CAMELOT!

**Epic_high_priestess: **right…

**King_Uther: **I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN SPEND TIME WITH A WENCH LIKE YOU!

**epic_high_priestess: **Like what? You're dead. You were killed by a sorcerer. You have all eternity left to spend with you wife because you really have nothing better to do.

**King_Uther: **I AM THE KING OF THE UNDERWORLD! I AM GETTING MY SLAVES TO BUILD ME A MAGNIFICENT CASTLE THAT I WILL NAME THE HALL OF UTHER AND ME AND MY QUEEN WILL RULE THE UNDERWORLD!

**epic_high_priestess: **Oh yeah. I totally forgot that you went completely crazy after your death (if that's even possible, I mean look up crazy in the dictionary and you'll see your face as the definition and that was when you were alive) and proclaimed yourself King of the Underworld. Tell me, how do Hades and Persephone feel about this?

**King_Uther: **THOSE TWO ARE FALSE MONARCHS! I, UTHER PENDRAGON, PRIDE MYSELF TO BE A FAIR AND JUST KING, GIVING ME MORE AUTHORITY TO RULE THAN THOSE TYRANTS!

**epic_high_priestess: **I don't really see them as tyrants, considering they let you be with your wife in Elysium. And anyway, that's like the pot calling the kettle black. If Hades finds out about your comment, I bet he might just send you into Tartarus. I really hope he does!

**King_Uther: **NO ONE CAN SEND ME TO TARTARUS! I AM THE KING OF THE UNDERWORLD!

…

WAIT, WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPITALS?

**epic_high_priestess: **Ah that might be me. You see, my mother Nemesis came to visit me and taught me how to control caps locks buttons, encouraging me to perhaps seek vengeance on you, Uther Pendragon.

**King_Uther: **NEMESIS? AS IN GODDESS OF REVENGE NEMESIS?

**epic_high_priestess: **The very one. You see, Uther, you have angered a VERY powerful demi-god.

**King_Uther: **I'M STILL KING OF THE UNDERWORLD!

**epic_high_priestess: **That's what you think…

**Ooh Nimueh is a demi-god. Uther must be running for the hills now.**

**So to start, a demi-god is a child of both a god and a mortal. The Greek Gods were supposed to have fallen in love with mortals from time to time (for Zeus that was every other day) and have kids with them. Some of the most famous ones are Perseus (son of Zeus and the best hero ever), Heracles (better known as Hercules. Son of Zeus and an annoying twat), Theseus (son of Poseidon and was OK, ignoring the whole Ariadne thing), Helen (of Troy/Sparta. Daughter of Zeus (who was a swan at the time) and the woman who caused the Trojan war (silly, fickle little girl. Seriously, who would want Paris when you have Menelaus). The list goes on…**

**The Underworld is where the souls of the dead reside. It is meant to be underground. Don't ever mistake it as Hell as it is not. There are heavenly parts but also not so heavenly parts. Their version on Hell is Tartarus, a dark pit where all the evil people are sent to, to be tortured. Here you can find Kronos, king Titan's remains. However, don't be fooled. He might have been cut up into a thousand pieces but he's not dead. He's too immortal for that. On the other hand, Elysium is their version of Heaven. You get sent here if you have lived a very good life. Another name for it is Isle of the Blessed (now you can see my point about Merlin using a lot of ancient mythology and how I'm convinced that they do worship the Greek Gods.) The Underworld is ruled by the King Hades and his wife (read: niece) Persephone. She's a product of incest as her mother (Demeter) is her father's (Zeus) sister. And Hades is also another one of their brothers. And her step-mum (Hera) is her aunt on both sides.**

**Nemesis, as I said, is the goddess of Revenge. Enough said about that.**

**Guess what I found out. The show that's replacing Merlin is called Atlantis. It's all about the Greek Myths. OMG I am really excited now. I admit I will miss Merlin but this should be good. I love Class Civ (as you can clearly see). At this rate… it will become our lives.**

**So please review/favourite/follow/. Bye.**

_**Clarkygirl- Hades is not amused! Hades is frankly insulted! Hades will destroy this puny usurper! Hades needs a cup of nectar! Chocolate gets all the credit for this one. Her awesomness came up with it. Nimueh is surprisingly calm though. She is cold and sharp as ice. So wear gloves with that one. Uther really is slow though, isn't he? I pity his poor wife. I can imagine Persephone and Uther's wife (whose name eludes me) complaining about their husbands. Anyways…we rock classciv! Do review and adios!**_


	27. Chat 26: Demigods!

**Hello. I wasn't going to update today but I have to as a treat. Because thanks to you all, we have exceeded 100 reviews overnight. I am celebrating. Thank you guys so much. A standing ovation to Blue Turtle of AWESOMENESS for being our 100****th**** reviewer! More Ancient Greek themed chats to come. Here's one greatly inspired by Percy Jackson. As usual, anything you might not understand is at the bottom. Enjoy…**

_**Clarkygirl-Who's seen the new film! I think me and chocolate managed to fault in every three minutes of it. Once again, this is chocolate's masterpiece. **_

**Camelot Chatrooms- Demigods!**

**epickingofawesomeness has joined the conversation**

**imanawesomewarlock has joined the conversation**

**epickingofawesomeness: **Hey Merlin. I've been reading about the Greek Gods!

**imanawesomewarlock: **You can read?

**epickingofawesomeness: **What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I can read. I'm the King of Camelot. Anyway, I said I was reading about Greek Gods. Did you know that sometimes they have children with humans.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Of course I did you ignorant prat. They're called demi-gods, like Perseus, Theseus and Heracles.

**epickingofawesomeness: **I'm going to pretend you didn't say that first bit.

You knew?

**imanawesomewarlock: **Of course I did. I'm smarter than you.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Yeah right! Anyway, imagine we're all demigods. Who would our godly parent be? I was thinking that maybe I could be a child of Athena!

**imanawesomewarlock: **ROLF! That's so funny Arthur. I think I split my spleen. You can't sew to save your life, let alone weave or any other craft that Athena is supposed to represent. And you're about as smart as two short planks of wood. You're the most oblivious, ignorant man I have ever had the misfortune of working for.

**epickingofawesomeness: **I'm not oblivious! After all, I know you have magic and you're Emrys!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Holy cow! The prat only NOW realises! How long have you known me? It's been what, 5 years or so! Seriously, Lancelot figured it out in 5 days!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Whatever! Anyway, Gwaine's Dionysus!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Agreed! He's in my room now, drunk, munching on purple things.

**epickingofawesomeness: **I'm not surprised! I was thinking that Elyan might be the son of Hephaestus!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Of course. He's in the forge now, making Gwen a pretty necklace. I was thinking…

I have to be the son of Zeus!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Just because you are Emrys, it doesn't mean that you are a child of Zeus. Hecate, maybe.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Whatever. I can imagine Gwen being a daughter of Hestia!

**epickingofawesomeness: **More likely Persephone! Hestia can't have kids as she's an eternal maiden. Persephone is not.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Gwen? Queen of the Underworld? You have got to be kidding me! And how can Athena have children when's she's a maiden.

**epickingofawesomeness: **No I mean goddess of Spring. She's got that role too. And we both know that Guinevere loves Springtime. And Athena has brain babies! Anyways, moving on, Morgause belongs to Hades.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Of course. How many immortal armies did she summon in her lifetime in the vain hope that they might just kill us all? I've lost count.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Three. And she summoned my mother D':

**imanawesomewarlock: **So she could also be Thanatos!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Thanks _Mer_lin. Now I can't choose. For Morgana, I do strongly believe that she is a child of Tartarus.

**imanawesomewarlock: **That's mean. Yet, it is Morgana. Maybe she does deserve it!

**epickingofawesomeness: **Exactly my point. Last night, she kept me up into the early hours of the morning, describing in exact details how she wants to kill me. I seriously wonder about her sanity sometimes.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Is that it? She once shoved a snake up my neck and wants me to die a slow and very painful death simply because I'm Emrys!

**epickingofawesomeness: **And? She's my sister! That's a fate worse than death!

**imanawesomewarlock: **Touché. I pity you.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Gaius has to be a child of Apollo.

**imanawesomewarlock: **I agree. I don't understand how he can heal mortal wounds so easily when I can't even heal a tiny paper cut with my supposed endless magic. I had my stomach siced open by some enemy or another. It barely left a scar, thanks to his salves.

**epickingofawesomeness: **Exactly. Nimueh has to be a child of Nemesis.

**imanawesomewarlock: **Nimueh is a child of Nemesis. Fact. Anyway, Uther has to be a child of Ares!

**epickingofawesomeness: **That's my father you're talking about.

**imanawesomewarlock: **He's still Ares. What with the crazy bloodlust and executing sorcerers every other day and the paranoia and I can continue.

**epickingofawesomeness: **…

…yeah I guess you're right

**imanawesomewarlock: **I'm bored of this conversation now.

**imanawesomewarlock has left the conversation**

**epickingofawesomeness: **I really hope father didn't see that.

_**King_Uther: **__he he he_

**Epickingofawesomness: **D:

**I wonder if you understand the end. Yes, that is Uther who has very randomly and creepily managed to hack the chat. Urgh that's scary.**

**So, Athena is the goddess of wisdom, battle strategies, weaving and other handicrafts and finally patron of Athens. She's Zeus' favourite daughter. She's the one that was born from his head and had a deep rivalry with Poseidon, god of the Sea.**

_**And she's our classciv class patron! **_**Totally awesome!**

**Dionysus is the god of wine, vine, wine cups, fertility, parties, madness and ecstasy. He's the son of Zeus and Semele (she's dead thanks to Hera). He married Ariadne (the one who dated Theseus).**

_**We have drama thanks to him! **_**And Madness. And parties. And most likely TOWIE. Thanks Wine dude.**

**Hephaestus is the god of blacksmiths, metals, metal tools especially axes, iron, fire and volcanoes. He's the son of Hera. In some myths, he has no father but in others, he is the son of Zeus too. He was thrown off Mt Olympus when he was a baby as he was so ugly and he's also crippled. Fun times. He married Aphrodite (love). Honestly, whoever thought of love and metal was crazy. He's awesome.**

_**He's awesome!**_

**Zeus is the King of the Gods. He's the youngest child of Rhea and Kronos and was the one who usurped him. He also rules the sky, weather especially thunder and lightning, justice, xenia (code of hospitality). He married his older sister, Hera and had 4 kids with her. But he had quite a few more with many other women. **

_**He abducted and raped a queen while in the form of a swan! **_**Rubbish dad. Had too many so he couldn't be a good one anyway.**

**Hestia is the goddess of the Hearth. In Percy Jackson, she is portrayed as an 8 year old. She is one of the 3 daughters of Rhea and Kronos (the only one who hasn't given Zeus a child). She was originally an Olympian, however she gave her seat up for Dionysus to stop arguments. She is one of the 3 eternal maidens (Artemis, Athena and Hestia). In sacrifices, she always gets the first share as her role is so important.**

_**She is also the goddess everyone forgets. **_**I don't. **

**I already told you about Persephone so we'll skip her. Ditto Hades.**

_**I still think Zeus lied about the myth! **_**I partially agree with Clarky.**

**Thanatos is the god of death. His name literally means death. He lives in the Underworld and he has a twin brother called Hypnos (god of sleep).**

_**The pranks between them must've been epic beyond imagination. **_**Clarky and her pranks…**

**Already explained a bit about Tartarus. Lets skip that hell hole.**

**Apollo is the god of pretty much everything. We are both convinced he's Jesus. He's the god of music, poetry, the arts, medicine, disease, the sun, truth, prophecy, young boys, archery and there's more but I can't be asked to remember it all. His twin is Artemis who is pretty awesome. Their parents are Zeus (surprise, surprise) and Leto (a Titaness).**

_**He's arrogant and obnoxious and the only god I think to keep his name between greek and roman! **_**He's also supposed to be really fit and fun and awesome. I do like him.**

**Also explained about Nemesis.**

**Ares. Son of Zeus and Hera (which makes him a legitimate child. Congratulations). He's the god of war, bloodlust, violence, mindless violence etc. Basically he's a bloodthirsty meathead. He hates Athena (unsurprisingly. She represents using violence as a last resort whereas he craves violence). He loves Aphrodite, goddess of love. She happens to be married to Hephaestus and those family reunions must be really awkward between the three of them.**

_**He's cruel with 'a temper shorter than an ant's antennae and more brittle than dry kindling. **_**He's an idiot**

**Now we're going to aim for 150 reviews. Keep reviewing because we do greatly appreciate it.**

**Also, if you have any requests for future chats, tell us. We are stuck on ideas so do tell. Thanks. **

**So review/favourite/follow. We appreciate it. Bye.**

_**Clarkygirl-Ok, all the italics is my imput. I kinda wrote a book on all this, so yeah. I totally didn't quote! But yeah, do review.**_


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